The Library of Dr. Moreau
GRETA- Polar Bear Lady, Librarian, Virgin.
MICHAEL- Ferret Man.
(GRETA is stamping books at her desk. MICHAEL approaches confidently and gently lays a large hardcover on her desk.)
MICHAEL- Just this today.
GRETA- Michael…
MICHAEL- Yes Greta?
GRETA- Do I even have to look to see if you’ve returned “The Blood Meridian” yet?
MICHAEL- I forgot it. I’ll drop it off tomorrow, I promise.
GRETA- I’m sure you will, but you know you can’t check out anything else until you that and the several others you’ve seem to have forgotten during all of these visits. Some are almost three months late now, that’s alot of dimes Michael.
MICHAEL- No more then, say, dinner would cost.
GRETA- (Blushing.) Well, I wish you’d return at least some of those you’ve taken out. My staff picks section is starting to look quite empty.
MICHAEL- Gosh, it must be just that I can’t stand to part with all of these wonderful books you’ve read. But don’t worry, I’m taking great care of them. You could come by and visit them if you like sometime.
GRETA- Michael, I’ve read those books, but not those copies specifically you know, I have my own at home.
MICHAEL- (Thinking.) They do still have your stamp on them.
GRETA- Okay, well I’m sure the library would like to have them back.
MICHAEL- They also have your name, so delicately pressed in maroon ink by soft paws.
GRETA- Really now…
(WILDEBEAST MAN approaches the desk and lines up behind MICHAEL. He’s concentrating on holding a book between his front hooves, slipping occasionally but catching it.)
GRETA- (Lowers her voice.) I would appreciate it if you could dial back the flattery just the slightest bit.
MICHAEL- (To WILDEBEAST MAN) I’m jealous of all of these books. All of them. For they get shelved by this Quartz beauty, while I must merely stand by and…
GRETA- (Not loud, but stern.) Mr. Carter.
(MICHAEL shuts up and turns back to GRETA, shocked.)
GRETA- (Professional.) Your late fees as they stand now are $73.40. I have to ask that you pay those and return any late books before I can allow you to check out another.
MICHAEL- I-
GRETA- Have a nice day sir.
(MICHAEL reaches for the book on the counter.)
GRETA- Leave it.
(MICHAEL bows his head and slumps out. WILDEBEAST MAN approaches the desk and dumps his book with relief.)
WILDEBEAST MAN- Do you have this on microfilm?
BLACK OUT
